What do I look for in a coffee shop?

A few things. Such as table service. Come to me and take my order, then come back with my coffee. Or, I will order at the counter, and then you bring me my coffee. Do NOT make me order at the counter, make me come back to pick up the coffee, and charge me $5 for the privilege. Can someone nuke Starbucks?

I usually order a strong latte. Take my word for it. If I get normal strength, I normally ask for it to be made stronger. If I get weak, you have no idea what you’re doing and I ain’t coming back. I have fond memories of Café 253, that used to make me lattes the colour of mud. Most places are at least competent in this area. Dishonourable mention: those who charge extra for a strong one. Can someone nuke Gloria Jeans?

If I’m by myself, I’ll want a paper to read. Sometimes I won’t even walk into a café if I can’t see any papers available. Local papers don’t count. To the café owners who don’t have papers to read: don’t you want customers? To the café owners who only have one paper: do you only want one customer? The Coffee Club knows what they’re doing here. Kudos also to Peaberry (formerly San Remo) in Cheltenham.

A truly superlative latte has a somewhat creamy top on it (not like a capaccino though), is of decent strength and is not too bitter or burnt. The Holy Grail, that is, the perfect coffee, is not easy to find. La Strada Café, opposite Flagstaff Station, used to make excellent coffee, but not since their change of ownership. Alas, alas.