In which I declare my opinions about Myspace

(I originally posted this rather acerbic rant on my Myspace blog. Hypocritical, no? View my Myspace profile if you like, but be warned, it’s truly appalling. I started it a little while ago, even though I can almost never access Myspace, and I have already forgotten the password (they wouldn’t give me the one that I wanted so I had to pick one I wouldn’t remember, and promptly forgot it) so I no longer can update the profile or submit comments or add friends or do any of those exciting things that bring them flocking to Myspace like bees to honey, or politicians to pork. The photo isn’t me, if you’re wondering.)

Myspace is wrist-slittingly bad. There is nothing on earth that convinces me more that Western civilization is going down the toilet.

Lame things about myspace (this could be a long list):
- Playing music whenever you load someone’s page. This is stupid. If I want music I can press the “Play” button myself. If you press “Pause”, go to another page, then press back, it starts playing all over again! Grrrr. If you load two pages at once, it tries to play them both. This is ridiculous. It also interferes with whatever you’re playing in Winamp or similar.
- Displaying my star sign. I hate astrology and so should you. Also, if your sign is “Cancer” (which mine is), do you really want THAT on your page? It’s a bad omen.
- Acts as a magnet for every talentless tryhard in the universe. (Sorry, but it’s true. You know it is.)
- Searched for tymon smith, then tymonsmith. Myspace was too stupid to suggest myspace.com/tymonsmith in its results.
- The average myspace user page looks like pigs vomit mixed with kittens in a blender, and is impossible to read.
- Why did myspace set Eastern European Time as the default for the Australian myspace? Melbourne ain’t Kiev, people.

Okay, maybe I need to wind down a little …