I’m moving house. You will recall that I moved in to my present abode last September and had a Communism-themed housewarming in October. Incidentally, that housewarming post is one of the most-viewed posts on this blog, with a small but steady stream of people viewing it via search engines, and I have now updated it with the invitation my brother made for the occasion, with hammer and sickle and everything.
I haven’t found a place to move to yet. If you live in Melbourne and would like me to move in with you, leave a comment below describing your house and where it is. Of course, having said that, I need to qualify that statement, to prevent a flood of comments large enough to crash the WordPress servers.
Be it known that I wish not to live with psychopaths, or in apartments (but units and townhouses are OK), and particularly not in psychopath-filled apartments. Be it also known that I like polished floorboards rather than carpets, heating rather than not, no pets rather than pets (I am allergic to anything with fur).
The question then arises: Which suburb? Introducing the five word suburb review:
Suburbs That I Would Like To Live In:
Balaclava (excellent coffee, station, work nearby),
Bentleigh (okay coffee, Zone 1 station),
Cheltenham (good coffee, location near friends),
Mordialloc (not too far out – just)
Suburbs That I Could Live In If I Absolutely Had To:
Edithvale (near the beach, at least),
Keysborough (coffee wasteland, far from work),
Springvale (cheap groceries, just generally cheap)
Awful Suburbs That Need More Than Five Words To Describe Their Awfulness:
Doveton (cheap, too far out, no coffee),
Narre Warren (may as well live in Mordor, endless drive to work, no drinkable coffee for miles, plus everyone there smells funny),
Carrum Downs (I lived there for three months. Can someone wipe that from my memory please?)
In other words, if you share an unheated carpeted apartment in Narre Warren with a psychotic cat, I do not want to live with you.
BREAKING NEWS: On his phone, my friend Tim has a drawing of dinosaurs on roller skates eating ice cream.
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February 17, 2007 at 4:38 pm
SaRz
Again?!?!
didnt you just move?
why moving again so soon?
another awful suburb -> noble park
my boss says that she doesnt need cable tv for cop shows…she just looks out her window.
and cranbourne
boganville…a land of nothingness…aside from ten pin bowling and an indoor pool centre, with more chlorine content than water.
February 18, 2007 at 4:57 am
Markk
Yeah you have to check where the hoons go for their drag races before you move into those suburbs
February 18, 2007 at 4:58 am
Markk
I was on a short lease. They’re demolishing the house to build units
February 19, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Guido Nutsopoulos
Hey Markk id let you move in with me but i have a 1 bedroom townhouse and as for fur…. I have alot of that aroundi f you know what i mean….. I mean who doesnt mind a little…..
February 19, 2007 at 9:31 pm
saa
Once I saw a documentary that in Montreal people have highest rate of moving and chaning appartments, I hope its not same in Melbourne
February 20, 2007 at 4:07 am
Markk
The media has been saying lately that rents have been rising a lot, and vacancies are few and far between, but to me so far it looks the same as always.
February 20, 2007 at 4:45 pm
Guido Nutsopoulos
So how bout the offer?????
February 20, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Markk
What offer might that be? Did you make one?
August 2, 2007 at 5:51 am
Barry
You could live with me, but I’m not so sure you would like the surroundings. I have two cats, wall to wall carpeting, and some say I’m a lunatic. (I beg to differ)
August 2, 2007 at 3:42 pm
markk
The cats could be problematic. I’m allergic to some, but not others. I like all animals, including cats, but I’m yet to figure out exactly what I’m allergic to.
Perhaps you’re sane, and everyone else is crazy …