Yes, you. And quite frankly, I think you’ve had it coming. You’ve been emitting toxic fumes for far too long.
“Me? Emitting toxic fumes?” Don’t play innocent with us. You no doubt are aware that carbon dioxide is killing the Earth via global warming? Yet there you are, thoughtlessly breathing it out. How could you be so selfish?
Therefore, you are now ordered by the United States Supreme Court to cease and desist from the following activities:
- respiration, breathing
- combustion
- fire
- using electrical devices (electricity is fire by the law)
- fermentation, production of alcoholic drinks
These, and all other activities that emit the air pollutant carbon dioxide into our atmosphere are now forbidden by law.






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April 9, 2007 at 12:38 am
Manymeez
Very funny! thanks for the laugh this sunday morning. But earnestly, I do think that global warming is an important issue, and everyone needs to do their part to help. I’m not sure by this post if you agree that global warming is caused by what humans are doing in excess, or you are of the mindset that believes global warming could just be caused by nature itself. My theory is, lets all do just 2 things that would drastically cut out some co2 emissions, and lets see what happens. Afterall, what would we have to lose if we all used a different type of light bulb for a couple of years?
April 9, 2007 at 12:54 am
Markk
Almost all climate scientists think that global warming has been observed and is either caused or made worse by human activity. Not being an expert on the subject, all I can say is that these people are experts in their field and we ought to give their concerns full weight.
Having said that, there is lot of exaggeration going around. I’m quite sceptical of a lot of the doomsday scenarios that are being promoted.
April 9, 2007 at 1:40 am
Manymeez
I’ll agree with that last statement. I think that scare tactics, whether in war or in global warming is not a smart move. I thought the message was a lot more influencial before it became a political issue.
April 9, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Sane Person
It would be more effective to ban water vapor, which account for 98% of the green house effect.
April 9, 2007 at 8:13 pm
Markk
I’m not sure how global warming became such a political hot potato. Odd, isn’t it?
April 9, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Markk
Let’s ban hydrogen and oxygen, as they can be used to manufacture this insidious water vapor!
April 9, 2007 at 8:21 pm
Sane Person
If global warming had been linked mainly to water vapor, clouds and solar activity, as it should have, there would be no politics in it. It would have been a cold potato. Man made CO2 contribution, although unimportant, is a created link to modern society, making the potato hot.