The case of the missing pants

As you are aware, I paid you $10.50 to clean my pants, only to have you lose them. These pants cost $135 and it is only fair that I am compensated for this.

As you know, this has gone on for a little while now. I have had to make several trips here; $1150 is not an unreasonable sum. The $3000 is simply to compensate for expenses incurred in renting a car and such while sorting this out. This all could have been avoided, but you continue to dispute the $4600 I was asking for.

Please send a cheque for $12,000 to the nominated address. Your negligence in this matter means you can hardly complain about the $200,000 sum. Did you not have a sign up advertising same day service? You are lucky I am only asking for $1 million, breaking consumer laws like that.

Your notice saying “Satisfaction Guaranteed” is laughable when you continue to dispute my $5 million claim. I have spent a lot of time chasing you on this, causing me much pain and suffering; about $10 million worth I suspect. How much, then, should I be asking the court for?

Simply the amount proscribed under the law: $65.4 Million.