Jack Marx is at it again in a piece entitled Breeders:
For some time after the birth of my own boy, I was troubled by an altogether unexpected affliction: a loathing of other children. Where I had expected fatherhood to invest me with a newfound affection for all kids, the very opposite occurred, and for a few years I struggled with combative urges when in the company of other parents and their children. At the time, I put this down to some ancient biological instinct - one that ensured I would not find another child so pleasing as to move me to abandon my own - and, as I observed the behaviour of other parents at day care centers, I realised I was not exactly unusual.
Parents did battle over anything, always on behalf of their voiceless child. The parents of an anaphylactic boy, for example, who pleaded with a nursery to ban the nut products that would be fatal to their baby, were opposed by parents defending their three-year-old’s “right” to eat peanut butter sandwiches. The legendary parental concern for all children was never more absent than at an assembly of parents, anxiety over their own child’s quality of life triumphing always over the common good.
Can those of you who are parents identify with this? (Pete, I’m looking at you!)
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May 17, 2007 at 11:17 am
Pingback from “My Concern is My Child” | Freaked-Out Fathers
May 17, 2007 at 11:03 am
Pete Aldin
Wow! Can I plead the 5th Amendment? Oh wait, I’m not in the USA…
Not fully sure what the guy’s getting at. I hear him about the parents arguing over “to pack or not to pack” (peanut butter sandwhiches) - I remember when this first affected us, there was the initial 3-second reaction of “What? My kid can’t eat peanut butter at this camp?? How absurd!”, followed quickly by the realisation “Oh if he does, another kid might die. Ok, I’ll make him Vegemite and cheese instead; no big deal.” I think any parent who puts convenience over another kid’s wellbeing (any kid) is a @#$%*!!in’ #$%{+&@!! and should be kicked repeatedly in the @$#%^&@()!!s…
Having said (or cussed) that, I’m also very judgemental about other kids and choose very carefully who mine play with. This I think is duty of care, but I suspect I err in favour of playing God a little too much sometimes and should lighten up. And let’s face it, all Dads when witnessing their little one get kit over the head in the sandpit rush to their aid and want to beat up the other kid … but when their own kid is the perpetrator, it’s like “Hey he’s a kid everyone, what are you going to do?”
May 17, 2007 at 11:32 am
themolk
I’m with Pete - being new to this parentign game is causing a flood of confusion and confliction for me, but some things are no-brainers.
1. Will someone else’s kid die because of my kid’s actions (directly or indirectly)? Yes - better stop my kid; No - knock yourself out, dude!
2. It is entirely the role of the parent to filter your kids friends. Initially it seems pretty simple (there is no way in hell I am letting that kid near my kid), as they grow I’d imagine it moves to influence and background manouvering.
I do not agree with parents who exercise their kid’s rights to do whatever, as 90% of the time the right they are fighting ISN’T RIGHT! (if that makes sense). It just bastardry for the sake of it (there, I said it). Go an push your kid out of a tree, savlon and band-aid the scrape, and put them back in the damn tree…
…and don’t forget the peanut butter…
May 17, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Bunk
Jack Marx has serious problems. I hope he doesn’t pass them on to his kids.
I despise people who decide that they want to have children, and then don’t take the great responsibility to raise them themselves. Children are not pets.
For people like Mr. & Mrs. Marx, to abandon their own children to be raised by others, whether in a “Nursery,” a “Day Care Center” or “Preschool,” and then to complain about it, is hypocrisy of the worst kind. They don’t deserve to be called parents, and should be called for what they are: obnoxious selfish breeders. God help their children…
May 17, 2007 at 8:28 pm
markk
Wow. Did that ever get the emotions going! I called Jack Marx a “professional troll” in a previous post, and not for nothing.
As someone who has no kids and is unlikely to have them in the near future (but I do plan to eventually; don’t you worry about that) I was interested to see if you could relate to Marx’s comments. Apparently not.
I can imagine that when I do have kids I will indeed have a strong protective instinct, what with memories of my own childhood lurking just behind, reminding me of everything that can and does go wrong. No doubt I will resort to “friend filtering” and more besides!
But I’m not convinced that day care centres etcetera constitute abandonment any more than primary schools do. I’m not a big fan of schools though …