I recently found a drive-through coffee outlet in Murrumbeena (not pictured above, I hasten to add). This is the first drive-through coffee outlet I’ve seen in Australia, so naturally I had to give it a go. There were several things about this place destined to offend coffee purists. Let’s go through them, shall we?
1. It’s a drive-through coffee outlet. So much for the social aspect of cafes.
2. It looks like a petrol station, with a garish blue colour scheme and logo, and lots of concrete for that special concrete ambience.
3. The name is “Expresso Drive Through”. Having “expresso” in a name is always a bad sign. At least in this case, it’s not just a misspelling of “espresso”. They sell express coffee, people!
4. They sell coffee in three sizes. You have to specify the size; there is no default.
All of this quickly adds up to … coffee foreboding!
I drove to their window and my strong latte was delivered quickly and cheerfully, with a complimentary wafer. Within five seconds I had spilled some coffee onto the seat. Why doesn’t my car have cup-holders?
I turned back onto Murrumbeena Rd and pulled over to taste what was left, raising the paper cup to my mouth to take a swig. I almost spat it back out; the taste was that bad. I drank a bit more (to give it the benefit of the doubt I suppose), but no improvement was forthcoming, so I drove to Chadstone and threw it out. Fortunately I had the wafer to counter the awful taste.
60c UPDATE: Also recently, I returned to Trisha’s Lunch Stop in Brighton, which was advertising 60c cappuccinos. My impression on seeing this: “The coffee must be awful!” As indeed it was. One of the worst cups of coffee I’ve ever had.
DEFINTLEE UNSEXIE: You can read more about the abomination pictured above at Gourmet Tarts. Or you can check it out for yourself if you’re near Bundaberg, Queensland.
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July 25, 2007 at 2:18 pm
benjamin
We have a couple of drive thru coffee places in Western Australia called ‘Muzz Buzz’. It’s a bit smaller looking than your sexy coffee place and the coffee isn’t all bad. I don’t like drinking from a takeaway cup, but they use ‘Five Senses’ which is what I mostly drink at home so it’s not bad. They also put ice in your long black if you want it, so you can drink the thing quicker while driving.
Once when I visited a hot girl and guy were complimentary washing everyones windscreen while we waited for our drinks. Quite bizzarro, but if I want a take away coffee this is far superior to the Maccas option.
July 25, 2007 at 4:01 pm
swollenpickles
I am prepared to join your coffee jihad…
July 25, 2007 at 6:21 pm
markk
“Muzz Buzz” is a bad, bad name. Maybe it makes more sense when you’re there.
Ice in long blacks? Hot people doing windscreen washes? Sounds bizarre indeed.
July 29, 2007 at 12:47 am
Snoskred
Hey, reading you via the Aussie Blogs Community.
Sign me up for the Coffee Jihad..
I have a Gaggia Syncrony Logic here at home, and with it I can make the best coffee on the planet.
My biggest issue these days is with the places that make the milk far too hot. Why bother with those little temperature gauge things if they’re not even going to read them?
Take the handles off the milk jugs, and we’d all get coffee at the right temperature in future, is my opinion.. That is how I get the milk temperature right at home.
Snoskred
http://www.snoskred.org/
July 29, 2007 at 1:42 am
markk
Making good coffee at home is not something I’ve done … yet. I’m completely dependent on cafes for my fix, and I’ve no idea exactly how good coffee is made. But given the legions of people that are taking an interest, with whizz-bang machines and the knowledge to use them, I can’t see why coffee shops, who do it for a living, can’t get it right.
Life’s too short to settle for bad coffee!
July 29, 2007 at 8:18 pm
Jon Newton
So should your campaign for better coffee be a jihad or a crusade?
Dad
July 29, 2007 at 10:54 pm
markk
Need it be either/or? Why not both? I’m sure we can find people from all religions who are prepared to do their part for good coffee.
February 24, 2008 at 9:18 pm
johny
after reading your blog about expressodrivethru and their posting too i went down there to try their coffee. I am sorry to say i think you might have it all wrong. It was one of the best cups of coffee i have ever had! The staff were really nice too. Did you have a bad day when you went there?
February 25, 2008 at 7:37 pm
justyouandme
hmm. Very Puzzled about this drive thru coffee spat you are having. I live in carnegie and went and got a coffee there. There coffee is great. I asked them about this blog, the guy said there has been lots of people come through asking about it, and they are grateful for the extra business. the irony of it all is you say there coffee is shit, but they have people coming from everytwhere to buy it because of your blog? Strange twist of fate!!
June 17, 2008 at 4:33 pm
amy
There is a new coffee drive thru in WA called One For The Road. The coffee is unbelievable - honestly the best cup I ever had, much better than the Muzz Buzz stuff. If you live in WA I recommend you try it, but watch out coz you may turn into a coffee snob… you will only want to drink the nice stuff after you have one of their coffees!