One of my friends – let’s call her Marjorie – has had some unwelcome attention from a much older guy that she is definitely not interested in, and who is impervious to normal hints among those lines. We shall call him Hubert.
Hubert has been pursuing Marjorie for quite some time now, so we were recently discussing ideas of how to put him off. Such as the following:
- Marjorie should go out on a date with Hubert and then do something completely psychotic or otherwise off-putting during the date in order to dampen his enthusiasm.
- Marjorie should deliberately make herself look hideous somehow, in order to become repulsive to Hubert.
- Marjorie should acquire a fake boyfriend.
The last option has me intrigued. It appears to me to be the most likely to succeed method and has few downsides.
Has anyone here ever been a fake boyfriend or girlfriend for the same reason? If so, how did that go? Do you recommend the fake boyfriend strategy?
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August 6, 2007 at 1:17 am
Snoskred
Hi, I’m reading you via the Australian Blogs Community at Bumpzee, on the RSS feed. Just dropping by to welcome you to the Australian Blogs Community, and to let you know I have just updated the Australian Blogs Community HTML links list file to include your blog, if you want to put it on your blog you can get a copy of it here -
http://fraudstars.info/~snoskred/aussieatoz.txt - A to Z
http://fraudstars.info/~snoskred/aussieztoa.txt - Z to A (The down-under version!)
The list is updated weekly to include new blogs.
In case you didn’t know, anytime you post the first 250 characters go out on the RSS feed, so I’ll be reading more from you soon.
and I’ve updated my sidebar to the new list, so I’m linking to you now. I also mention you on Sunday in my weekly wrap up post. 
Once again, Welcome to the Australian Blogs Community!
Maybe Marjorie should tell him she’s not interested in anything more than friendship? Sometimes it’s best just to be straightforward with these men / potential stalkers..
Snoskred
http://www.snoskred.org/
August 6, 2007 at 11:40 am
benjamin
I think the whole fake boyfriend thing may work in the short term, but if TV is anything to go by it is sure to backfire. Have you seen that episode of Futurama when Fry has to be a fake boyfriend to both Leela and Amy at the same time? It sure was wacky, but it didn’t work out.
If Marjorie did have try the fake boyfriend thing it would may make Hubert try harder or give him the impression Marjorie is interested in relationships and he will wait and wait until the inevitable fake boyfriend breakup. She can’t fake marry someone ala Green Card, as that is also destined for failure.
Maybe you need to find out what Hubert is really into, like what kind of girl would be his dream woman, and find her. This will distract Hubert and maybe he will bug her rather than you. It’s kind of like when Bugs Bunny dresses up like a girl bunny to throw Elmer Fudd off. Kind of.
Anyways, I’m sure none of that was useful.
August 6, 2007 at 6:47 pm
markk
Thanks for guiding us to the educational influence of TV, which is always right about everything. There will be complications. There are bound to be.
Fake marriage is a bad idea, but a fake engagement could work. All you need is a ring. Provided that fake boyfriend isn’t scared off by fake commitment.
What is Hubert really into? I’m not sure what his ideal woman would be. The best I can tell is that it’d be one with two arms and two legs. And that’s just a starting point; I’m sure he’d be willing to compromise on that.
You see, Hubert is in his 40s, and I’m fairly certain he hasn’t had a girlfriend yet (although I could be wrong). What I do know is that he’s gone for at least a dozen women in the last year alone and didn’t stand a chance with any of them. He seems particularly intent on Marjorie, though.
He’s a nice guy, but a tad odd.
Snoskred, although she’s turned him down on several occasions when he’s asked for a date, she’s never been that blunt with him. Perhaps she should. Would it work? I’ve no idea, but I have my doubts.
Presently I am the most likely fake boyfriend if it does happen. I’ll be sure to blog about that, if it goes ahead.
August 9, 2007 at 11:18 am
Xoxana Caraway
My recommendation is not on your list of three choices. Be sincere. What is the problem with people and sincerity. There is no problem with saying what we really think. If you don’t speak your mind because of how the recipient will feel then the problem is yours. And you really have a problem with yourself. Speak out. Tell the annoying one what you feel and keep walking. This exercise will set you free.
August 10, 2007 at 7:12 am
markk
I don’t think Marjorie is being insincere. After all, she has said “No” every time Hubert has asked her out. I get your point, though.
August 10, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Faimous
Strangely enough, I too think that a fake suitor might stir his seemingly nonexistent competitive spirit to life. Gaah. Then all hell might break loose. I wonder if she could find out what’s his one personality pet peeve when it comes to the other sex? I mean, we all have that… don’t we? Something that we just really could not tolerate. Ever. Then she could develop that trait and let it bloom whenever she’s around him.
Granted, this is time-consuming and might entail more contact with Hubert.
August 11, 2007 at 7:37 am
markk
Good point, and not something I had considered. I am not sure I want to be around a Hubert consumed with jealousy once I snatch “his woman” away. I really have no idea how he would react to that since I haven’t seen it happen before.
As for pet peeve, probably too time consuming. We’d have to go by trial and error there. Perhaps she could try taking up smoking?
January 17, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Assissotom
WOW, so much stuff here, an excellent resource. Thanks guys!
January 18, 2008 at 1:18 am
ClemsamnKneer
The more you know about site
February 4, 2008 at 1:58 am
JACL
I am not sure about posing as a fake boyfriend. If the guy is a stalker and has lost his marbles, he may flip out on you. When it comes down to very possessive people, they do crazy things. You should know who you are dealing with. “Marjorie” should not go out with “Hubert” anymore is she has no interest in him. Why string him along and play with his emotions? She should tell him she is not interested and ignore him. If he continues to harass her, then she may want to get a restraining order or tell the police he is stalking her.