September 2007

Hubert recently announced he was throwing a birthday party for his dog. That raised lots of questions. Yes, he was going to invite other dogs. No, the dogs wouldn’t have to RSVP. Yes, there will be a cake. A dog food cake.

Etc.

Hubert is a tad odd, but I don’t think anyone expected him to actually throw this party, so I was surprised when Marjorie was given an invitation. I was invited too, at the last minute.

The party was surprisingly normal; it was a barbeque at a local park. Three dogs made it to the party, along with their human assistants and hangers-on. Lots of food was eaten, and then there was the cake.

Looks tasty, doesn’t it?

Hubert cut it like a normal cake and served it to the dogs. They didn’t eat it, instead preferring the barbeque meat, the spoiled things.

Hubert also owns a cat. If he ever throws a party for it, I’ll be sure to let you know.

I’ve already featured Albi The Racist Dragon and The Humans Are Dead on this blog, but I had to share their song Issues (aka Think About It) with you, as I believe it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever done. Watch the whole thing – you won’t regret it. (RSS readers click here to view):

But to make this the last – and definitive – Flight Of The Conchords post, here is a guide to all my favourite FotC songs, with links. Enjoy.

The Humans Are Dead – Two robots discuss a future apocalyptic world without humans or elephants. Very funny.

Albi The Racist Dragon – The song FotC used to single-handedly eradicate racism in New Zealand. While not a screamer, this one is a must-see just for the concept. Racist dragons, indeed.

Jenny – I quite like this one. Brett impersonates a woman very well.

Hiphopopotamus vs Rhymenoceros – One of their pioneering gangsta rap/folk hybrids. Several classic moments, such as when Jermaine tries to freestyle.

The Most Beautiful Girl In The Room – How do you compliment a girl, and insult her at the same time? FotC have this down.

I’m Not Crying - FotC’s epic romantic breakup song. Oh, the heartbreak.

Sello Tape – Reflections on romance and sticky tape by the FotC love doctors.

Mother Uckers – As you can probably tell from the title, this song is about bank fees and racist fruit vendors.

Wrongness warning on some of the following. Handle with care.

If You’re Into It – This is wrong. Very wrong. Funny though.

Business Time – Not one of my favourite FotC songs. Sarz put it on her blog.

She’s So Hot – Boom! – FotC channel Shaggy. What?

Bowie Song – I would probably find this much funnier if I were familiar with David Bowie’s music. Never mind.

Frodo, Don’t Wear The Ring – We made it. Hooray!

Of course, there are other songs not included here, mainly from their TV series. Feel free to point out the ones that I’ve missed.

Just in case you weren’t aware that our family is weird, I present here the definitive proof. These images were created one morning several years ago by brother Ben, who now has a blog.

You remember, of course, my previous discussion on this subject. It is now the case that I have had a fake girlfriend, but for a different reason. Let me explain.

A few weeks ago, I walked into church with a girl of my acquaintance and sat with her and other friends during the service. Quite innocent, no? A few days later I received a text message informing me of a rumour going around that Denese and I were going out. Doesn’t take much, does it?

I could easily have quashed the rumour by spreading The Truth. But what fun would that be? Denese and I, who both found the rumour hilarious, decided to take a different approach. Namely, to ensure that the rumour would spread.

Doing this was almost too easy. All I did was hold her hand during the service for a few seconds at a time when certain other people were watching. That, and occasionally putting my arm around her. After the service, we walked out arm in arm.

That was it. We didn’t kiss, or anything similar. But I could tell from the looks I was getting that people were convinced.

That was the beginning. It was to go further. Much further. The fake relationship took on a momentum of its own. I’ll post the details over the coming days, but in the meantime I’ll simply let this post be my confession that our relationship was fake and the girlfriend was not a girlfriend.

In the meantime, I’ll let you enjoy this pic:

Think Artificial had a post about the world’s ugliest robots. Included was this disturbing video of an artificial cat (RSS readers click here to view):

I can’t imagine these robots lasting very long. Not so long as there were any blunt objects in the vicinity.

Anyone out there who would like one as a pet?

I was arguing with a friend over whether Taiwan is a province of China.

My friend said- and I quote - “Because the PRC control mainland China, they also have Taiwan; and if Taiwan doesn’t like that, they will have to declare war on China to gain their independence.”I think he’s got it backwards, don’t you?

China would like Taiwan to be their province, but at the moment it is not. I don’t see how anyone could argue otherwise.

Nor do I see why it is necessary for a travel flash game to describe Taiwan as a province of China as a sop to the mainland Chinese government:

Disgraceful.

The same friend also believes the 9/11 conspiracy theories.

Every local area has its oddballs, and thus Southland Shopping Centre here in Melbourne has the Southland Headphone Guy. Put simply, this is someone who is constantly at Southland, either listening to music on his bright pink headphones, or doing fly kicks. Everyone who works at Southland knows who he is.

All of which would probably not be worth blogging about; except that someone has started a Southland Headphone Guy group on Facebook. It has 1606 members and features photos and video footage.

From the group page:

He is up there with the strange wonders of Southland such as Mono-brow Man, Bee-hive-hair Lady, that strange asian guy that looks like he’s about to go fishing and carries a scooter with him, the middle aged bearded dwarf that always rides his bike around and the guy that looks 110 years old that dresses mighty snappy by always wearing a suit (but has a tie far too long on).

As you can see, some people have gone to the trouble of having their photos taken with him.

Is this stalking, or is it harmless fun?