Blogging

Who’s to say what’s right these days, what with all our modern ideas…and products?
 - Homer Simpson

Hi everyone. I would like to talk to you about promotional pens. Do you like promotional pens? Not me, but I’d like to win a Wii. (I’m a poet, and I did not know it.) You see, I’ve recently discovered JohnChow.com. John Chow, the root of all evil, has set up a contest with 1234Pens.com; those who write a blog post just like this one are in the running to win a Nintendo Wii.

I’m a bit concerned about this. After all, John does this type of thing regularly, and I fear this blog will be sucked into his evil blog vortex. All for the lure of the Wii. And promotional pens, of course. 1234Pens.com is a good place for promotional pens, but be sure to check for residual evil first.

Have I sold my soul to the dark side?

UPDATE: Joel On Software has more on this issue.

John Chow recently posted a list of so-called Evil Blog Promotion Ideas. Evil? Pfft. Slightly mischievous, perhaps. Time for someone to put together evil ideas that are pure 100% evil. Such as the following:

1. Googlebomb a small Internet-based company so that its website is pushed off Google’s front page by your undeserved bad publicity or spam.
2. Use child labour to post comments on other blogs and forums with links back to your blog.
3. Use child labour as in #2, and forget to pay them, and keep them in a dungeon on bread and water.
4. Use adult labour, but keep the children hostage as in #3, until certain readership targets are met.
5. Hijack the front pages of sites of well known charities and redirect the traffic to your blog.
6. Leave clues for the police, stating that the solution to a notorious unsolved murder lies on your blog. Keep the blog anonymous if you plan to do this.
7. Terrorise people by breeding enormous, intelligent feral cats and setting them loose on the streets. Do a new post each time one is loosed.
8. Kill people and blog about it.

That’s enough evil for one day. If anyone out there uses any of these ideas, let us know.

UPDATE: If I link here I get a link back. Apparently.

Blogs you ought to be reading:

How about that one, genius? - My celebrity brother (he was behind Save The Mexican Wave) talks about his success as a media shill. Also other stuff, mainly business-related.

All Things Relevant - Sarz’s blog. It’s well-written and I like it.

Mumble - Australian politics in depth, if you like that sort of thing.

Iraqi Konfused Kid - There are various Iraqi blogs out there; this is one of my favourites. An interesting and illuminating read.

From time to time, Iowahawk writes something so funny you’ll wet yourself, such as “Ask The Aussie Imam”. You have been warned.

History Unfolding - A historian blogs about current events. Nice.

Slate Blogs The Bible - A secular Jew reads the Bible and blogs about it.

Slacktivist - Among other things, this blog contains a thorough going-over of “Left Behind” by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, in weekly instalments. Left Behind is a book that I had only skim-read. After reading this blog, I asked myself “Is Left Behind really that bad?” Yes. Yes it is.

The Daily Dish - American politics, etc, from a conservative viewpoint. About 20 posts a day. Does Andrew Sullivan have a life?

Michael J. Totten travels around the Middle East and talks to people. This week, he’s in Kurdistan.

This is a response to another challenge from Pete. So here it is - five reasons why I blog:

1. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
2. Blogging is a bandwagon, and do I ever like a bandwagon.
3. Provides an outlet for creativity. “Where’s the creativity”, you say? Very funny.
4. It seems like a good way to fill in time. (This isn’t very inspiring yet, is it?)
5. And finally, sometimes I have strong opinions that must be vented (hence “My Opinions Are Important”). That title may also give you an insight into my sense of humour.
6. (Bonus Reason) Attention seeking. I do enjoy blogging, because I enjoy writing about stuff, whether that means expressing my opinions or providing an outlet for my sense of humour. But I think the main point of all this for me is simply trying to provoke a response from you, the readers. I would hardly be bothered continuing if noone read my blog or left comments on it.

Now then, to spread this like a virus: Mat, Mark, Jon, saa, Sarz. Go for it!

**** 

I went to the St. Kilda Festival today, where I had lunch followed by coffee – in other words what I normally do, except usually I pay less and it’s less crowded. There were some cool things happening but I missed them all. I even missed the bed race. How did I miss the bed race?

One of the local cafés had a stand out the front with this notice: “World’s finest coffee available here” or similar. I’m a sucker for this sort of thing, so I ordered a strong latte.

“That isn’t the world’s finest coffee” said the man behind the counter (MBTC).
Me: “Okay then, give me the world’s finest coffee instead.”
MBTC: “We’re all out of that.”
Me: “So if I want the world’s finest coffee, I have to come back some other time?”
MBTC: “Yes, but it depends on what month it is. Most times you’ll be right. You’ll have to settle for the world’s second finest coffee for the time being.”
Me: “Er – okay.”
MBTC: “Strong latte it is, then.”

It wasn’t the world’s finest coffee, probably not the second finest either, but it was good. If that interests you, head for the Degani Bakery Café, Acland St, St. Kilda.

Do cats belong on planes? What do you do if you hear a “Mroaw” coming from someone’s on-board luggage? That has been the question on everyone’s minds lately, including that of Eric D. Snider, who relates his encounter with a cat on a plane as part of an epic journey across the United States, in one of his always-interesting “Snide Remarks” columns.

Also today, Pete Aldinovovic, for whom one blog just isn’t enough, has handballed a project to me. On a friend’s inactive blog, I repeatedly posted nonsense comments in order to get him to post again. After 58 comments and assistance from Sarz, this actually worked. Pete found that inspiring enough to try it with ghost blog I’m Going To Eat Everything At McDonald’s.

Can we resurrect I’m Going To Eat Everything At McDonald’s? Can I’m Going To Eat Everything At McDonald’s be rescued from oblivion? Is I’m Going To Eat Everything At McDonald’s worth saving? Does anyone even care? Dear reader, only you can answer these questions.

ANOTHER VEXING QUESTION: I went for a long walk today and got sunburnt. Who can I sue?

NEWS TO US: Farts are funny.

VIRGIN BIRTHS ARE EVIDENTLY MORE COMMON THAN WE THOUGHT: Last week, it was a Komodo dragon. This week, it’s a chimp.

I’ve got some linkies there on the right. I’ve added a few lately, so I thought I’d highlight a couple of them for you.

This is True is a weekly email with bizarre-but-true news stories from around the world, complete with Randy Cassingham’s humourous taglines and intelligent commentary. There is a free version and a Premium version available. The Premium edition made This is True the world’s first paid subscription email column. I’ve been on the free edition for a while now; long may it continue.

Jonk’s Bargains is an excellent web guide to some of the world’s best bargains. It is for Australians, but much of it is useful no matter where you are. Jonk has done the research, and if a discount card or other service is a waste of time, he ain’t afraid to say so.

Great Circle is possibly one of the world’s most insightful and well-written blogs. It is run by Peter Aldin, who is a life coach. The blog deals mainly with communication issues, whether at work or at home. Check it out – he knows what he’s talking about.

Melbourne Coffee Review and Cafe Dave provide cafe reviews of slightly longer than five words, in Melbourne and Sydney respectively. I’m thinking it might be worthwhile to produce five word summaries of their reviews here, with links back to the full review for your convenience. Would that be cheating?

Finally, if you are yet to purchase christmas presents for your youngsters, there is a spiffy gift idea for you on display at Cosmic Variance; a set of soft toys representing the plagues God sent against the Egyptians, according to Exodus. For example, there is a drop of blood with eyes (representing the plague of blood, I’d imagine) and a soft toy boil attached to a soft toy piece of flesh. What toy represents the plague of darkness, you ask? Why, a black cube of darkness with eyes, of course.

Your child wants this more than a Playstation. Trust me.