Five word coffee shop reviews

The longest running five word coffee review series in the blogosphere continues! 

Café Bastille, Clarendon St, South Melbourne
Good coffee. Also liked food.

Shine, Kingsway, Glen Waverley
Decent coffee. Nice looking staff.

Café Andiamo, Degraves St, Melbourne
Not bad. Degraves Espresso better.

Mag Nation, Elizabeth St, Melbourne
Magazines, mediocre coffee, paper cups.

From Trent:
Filter, Brunswick St, Fitzroy
Nice. Not open early Wednesday

From Judy:
Miss Marple’s Tea Rooms, Mt. Dandenong Tourist Rd, Sassafras
Coffee okay. Devonshire teas good.

I found some top cafes for this installment, plus some average ones. Give them a try yourself, although perhaps not today. Given that it is Friday the 13th, you might not want to leave the house.

Caffe Ortica, Southland Shopping Centre, Cheltenham
Okay, but not Southland’s best

Nutmeg Tree Café, Station Rd, Cheltenham
Okay, but better is nearby

Sweet Lovers, Central Ave, Moorabbin
Drinkable, strong enough, nothing special

Sweet Lovers was featured on Melbourne Coffee Review recently, as well as this blog. It’s basically a cake shop that also does coffee. Nothing wrong with that, but if the coffee has improved, it still has a way to go. The cakes and desserts looked nice but I didn’t try them.

Au Citron Café, Hampton St (near South Rd), Brighton
Impressive. Top coffee, classy atmosphere

Dendy Deli, Church St, Brighton
Looks good, coffee only OK

Sass Café, 142 Bridge Rd, Richmond
Top coffee near Epworth Hospital

Bourke Armoury, Bourke St (near Spencer St), City
Adequate coffee. Good, well-priced food.

Which brings the total number of reviews past 200! Woohoo!

Submit your own. Add further comments if you like, as it is difficult to cram everything into five words.

I have a soft spot for bookshop/cafe combos. In this edition, there is two of them, and more besides:

Pellegrini’s Espresso Bar, 66 Bourke St, Melbourne
Unique setting. Disappointing coffee. Sigh.

Mary Martin Bookshop Cafe, 108 Bourke St, Melbourne
Good coffee. Books. I like.

Book Talk Café, Swan St, Richmond
Old, new books. Good coffee.

7 Grams, 505 Church St, Richmond
Nice. Intriguing flavour. I’ll return.

Torch, Swan St, Richmond
Good coffee, friendly staff. Recommended.

Degani, Bayside Shopping Centre, Frankston
Decent coffee. Nice atmosphere too.

Because coffee is everything.

From Sarah:
Literary Latte, High St, Woodend
Books and coffee. Good stuff.

Zou G’s, Centre Rd, Bentleigh
Bentleigh’s best. By a mile.

Cafe at Healesville Sanctuary, Healesville
Average, but Tim liked it

Eludae, Maroondah Hwy, Healesville
Cakes, slices excellent. Coffee not.

Need any more motivation? These coffee pics will get you drooling.

Another smorgasbord of reviews here. And there’s more! Over 180, in fact.

Degali Bakery Cafe, Acland St, St Kilda
Nice top, flavour quite reasonable

Artica Gelateria Del Corso, Chadstone
Neat cafe. Decent coffee, service

Limoncello, Station St, Sandringham
Adequate coffee, half decent atmosphere

Hampton Cafe, Hampton St, Hampton
Air conditioned. Coffee forgettable, unfortunately

Puccini’s, Village Cinemas arcade, Melbourne
Asian pop music. Lame coffee.

Laurent Boulangerie Patisserie, 306 Little Collins St, Melbourne
Good coffee. Damn fine cakes.

Milktoast, Carlisle St, Balaclava
Superb flavour, groovy baby. Excellent.

Rusty Pelican, Lakeview Shopping Centre, Patterson Lakes
Decent, consistent. Patterson Lakes’ best.

Bakehouse Cafe, Lakeview Shopping Centre, Patterson Lakes
Go back to coffee school _

Linton’s Tea Rooms, Nepean Hwy, Mount Eliza
Okay coffee, good food, scones.

Sarah found a cafe in Shepparton that is in an old church building.

From Sarah:
Friar’s Cafe, Fryers St, Shepparton
Probably the best in Shepparton

I like it how she can say that after only going to one Shepparton cafe.

Finally, a cafe in Austinmer, a place I’d never previously heard of, but is apparently a small beachside town near Wollongong.

From Judy:
Austibeach Cafe, Lawrence Hargrave Dr, Austinmer, NSW
Beachside atmosphere, views, good coffee

Read on for reviews from Balaclava, Torquay, Bentleigh and more: 

From Sarah:
Scorched, The Esplanade, Torquay
Sarah, her friends liked it.

From Sarz:
Thai Cottage, High St, Cranbourne
It’s instant. I like percolated.

Instant? That is so eewwww.

Muffin Break, loads of places
Not bad. A tad inconsistent.

Batch Espresso, Carlisle St, Balaclava
Awesome. Pick of the bunch.

Las Chicas, Carlisle St, Balaclava
Awesome. It doesn’t get better.

Wall Two 80, Carlisle St, Balaclava
Awesome. Top coffee. Top atmosphere.

Lava Expresso, Carlisle St, Balaclava
Merely good. Forget about it.

Notice anything about those last four? If not, look at the address. Is there something in the water supply in Balaclava? (Maybe it’s caffeinated.)

Cafe J’adore, Centre Rd, Bentleigh
A decent brew. Bentleigh’s best?

The main list has over 170 reviews, including others in Balaclava, such as the we’re-not-worthy Gattica. Submit your own!

Issue #13, over 80 reviews in Melbourne and its suburbs, but I feel I’ve barely scratched the surface of the Melbourne café scene; particularly when I find there are three awesome cafés in Balaclava alone that I have not yet encountered. Not to mention that there is almost no overlap between this and other review sites. Perhaps this is a task that can never be completed.

Read on for reviews from Benalla, Albert Park, Canterbury, Seaford and more:

Icoco, Victoria Ave, Albert Park
I likes it. I’ll return.

Hot Honey, Armstrong St, Middle Park
Decent coffee and friendly staff.

From Jon:
Café Revival, Gloucester Ave, Berwick
Groovy atmosphere. Good coffee too.

Rambling Rose, Bridge St, Benalla
The parents quite liked it

Xocolatl, Maling Rd, Canterbury
Xkaclaxztingly good (pardon my French)

The Maling Room, Maling Rd, Canterbury
Holy Grail. We’re not worthy.

Mario’s Coffee House, Glenferrie Rd, Hawthorn
Great coffee, atmosphere. Service indifferent.

Café Vamp, Glenferrie Rd, Hawthorn
A potent brew. Good service.

From Tim:
Assettini Expresso Bar, Glenferrie Rd, Malvern
Compellingly decent mocha. Alrighty then.

From Judy:
Rina’s, Station St, Seaford
Not bad coffee. Nice cakes.

From Pete:
Blinner’s, Station St, Seaford
Good coffee, fantastic (but pricey) muffins

From Parlo:
Sazio, Bluff Rd, Black Rock
Buzzes on weekends. Coffee good.

Degraves Espresso, Degraves St, Melbourne
Groovy. Good coffee. The chairs?

Vicolino Caffe, Centre Place, Melbourne
Very small café. Good coffee.

The main list has 169 reviews from Melbourne, Sydney and other places.

I didn’t just stay in Sydney during my trip, did I? Read on for reviews from Nelson Bay, Goulburn and other places: 

Holbrook Bakery, Hume Hwy, Holbrook
Coffee somewhat mediocre, nice food

Paragon Café, Auburn St, Goulburn
Average but satisfies the craving

Café at Dog On Tuckerbox, Gundagai
Good coffee is found here

Berkelouw Book Barn & Coffee Shop, Old Hume Hwy, just north of Berrima
Nice atmosphere, coffee not bad

Salamander Bakery, Salamander Bay
My mum likes the coffee

E10, d’Albora Marina, Nelson Bay
Decent quality coffee on waterfront

Aquablu, d’Albora Marina, Nelson Bay
Excellent coffee. Tourist trap prices.

Coolabah Tree Café, Service Centre, Sydney-Newcastle Freeway, Wyong
Worst coffee ever. Stay away.

Oliver’s, Service Centre, Sydney-Newcastle Freeway, Wyong
Decent. They’re making an effort.

Sarah wants us to know about a couple of places on the Gold Coast (she particularly insisted on the Gloria Jeans one, it was that bad):

Star Café, Harbourside
Coffee here ain’t too bad

Gloria Jeans, Surfers Paradise
Horrible coffee. Stay far away.

There! That was the last installment from my trip to NSW. The entire list of coffee shop reviews now has over 150 entries, mainly from Sydney and Melbourne. Still, there are an awful lot of good cafes that haven’t been reviewed yet. If there is anywhere you would like us to know about, leave a comment and let us know.

What can I say about Sydney? If Melbourne gently caresses you, Sydney slaps you in the face, what with its traffic-filled winding roads and relentless sunshine. Anyway, with no further ado, here is the second installment of reviews from my recent trip north:

Pierre’s Patisserie, Turramurra
Nice French pastries, good coffee

Bonjour Patisserie, Railway Ave, Wahroonga
Nice food, coffee below par

Danes Gourmet Coffee, Railway Ave, Wahroonga
Flavour good. Just strong enough.

Café Laurella, Wahroonga
Nice atmosphere, coffee was disappointing

Berkelouw, Norton St, Leichhardt
Quite good café bookshop combo

Bacio, Queen Victoria Building, Sydney
This is good, not great

Fresco, Queen Victoria Building, Sydney
Just how I like it

Espresso Bar, David Jones Food Hall, near Pitt St Mall, Sydney
Good coffee. Needs more seats.

Arc, Circular Quay, Sydney
Notable coffee by the harbour

Campos, Missenden Rd, Newtown
Its stellar reputation is deserved

Urban Bites, 70 King St, Newtown
The coffee here ain’t bad

Cinque, King St (opposite Newtown Mission), Newtown
Good quality coffee is here.

Corelli’s, King St, Newtown
Nice old building. Good coffee.

Ritazza Lounge, Sydney Airport
Reasonable coffee with good views

Quikfix, Sydney Airport
Weak swill. To be avoided.

Bar Ristretto, Sydney Airport
The coffee here ain’t bad.

Loads more reviews here.

UPDATE: I’ve since revised the Quikfix review.

This is the first instalment of cafe reviews from my recent trip to Sydney. There are more Sutherland Shire reviews in the main list. 

Riviera Café, Cremona St, Como
Average coffee, very well located

Mozart’s, Gymea Bay Rd, Gymea
Nice sweets but coffee ordinary

Café Twelve, Gymea Bay Rd, Gymea
Reasonable quality coffee served here

Hairy Canary, Gymea Bay Rd, Gymea
Mediocre coffee unfortunately. Try elsewhere.

Hazelhurst Gallery Café, cnr Kingsway and Talara Rds, Gymea
Coffee good, service somewhat patronising

Vlasta’s, Gymea Bay Rd, Gymea
Coffee mediocre. Didn’t go back.

Deli Cucina, President Ave, Caringbah
Looks uninspiring, but reasonable coffee

Café De Keels, Tonkin St, Cronulla
Overlooks the bay. Coffee alright.

Café La Bay, Gunnamatta Park, Cronulla
Coffee ain’t bad. Seldom open.

Grind, Surf Rd, Cronulla
You won’t find better anywhere

Nulla Nulla, Cronulla St, Cronulla
My mum liked it, yesssss.

From Sarah:
Cafe 43, Gerrale St, Cronulla
Great coffee with beach views

Café Manna, Bundeena
Park, beach, kookaburras, decent coffee.

Just in case I didn’t make it clear, Grind in Cronulla is awesome. Should I make a Hall Of Fame on this site for the elite coffee shops - which I am thinking of doing - Grind will make the cut. Best coffee in Sydney.