Nutbar

I find Bible translation to be a hugely interesting topic. There are so many things that translators have to take into account.

For example: if the Bible uses graphic or explicit imagery, do you translate into equivalent English? Or do you tone it down, to avoid offending the sensibilities of delicate churchgoers?

Consider the King James rendering of 1 Kings 14:10 -

Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.

How do modern translations handle this? The NIV, in place of “him that pisseth against the wall”, has “every last male”.

Lame.

Now, watch a Baptist preacher take on this very subject (RSS readers click here to view):

(Originally found at Better Bibles Blog.)

SaRz, who is a regular around here and also knows me in real life (you know, what you do when you’re away from the computer) was recently at the burgeoning metropolis of Bonny Hills in NSW when she spotted this:

Yes, that sign does say “Sexy Coffee”. I’m not sure that sex and coffee really belong together. It just doesn’t seem to be a natural fit, don’t you agree? I’m sure the proprietors of this shop get a good laugh out of it though. Much like the previously mentioned Sexie Coffee establishment.

But this does give me an excuse to blog about a weird trend that’s hit the U.S. lately: sexy coffee shops! Establishments such as Cowgirls and Sweet Spot have injected some spice – or tackiness, depending on how you look at it – into the market, by having their female staff dress in bikinis or lingerie in order to drum up business.

Sounds like a bad soft porn flick, does it not? They could call it Bikini Cafe, or something. (Not that I’d know or anything.)

Anyway, I know you want a pic so here it is:

Yeah, that’s tasteful. Not.

Sure, I’m a heterosexual male, but I am also a coffee purist. I like the atmosphere and good vibes of a decent cafe, and this is too tasteless and tacky for words. And since I don’t like it, this trend must stop.

Plus, typically these places are drive through only. How many indicators of wrongness does one need?

Hopefully this trend won’t make it to Australia.

Hubert recently announced he was throwing a birthday party for his dog. That raised lots of questions. Yes, he was going to invite other dogs. No, the dogs wouldn’t have to RSVP. Yes, there will be a cake. A dog food cake.

Etc.

Hubert is a tad odd, but I don’t think anyone expected him to actually throw this party, so I was surprised when Marjorie was given an invitation. I was invited too, at the last minute.

The party was surprisingly normal; it was a barbeque at a local park. Three dogs made it to the party, along with their human assistants and hangers-on. Lots of food was eaten, and then there was the cake.

Looks tasty, doesn’t it?

Hubert cut it like a normal cake and served it to the dogs. They didn’t eat it, instead preferring the barbeque meat, the spoiled things.

Hubert also owns a cat. If he ever throws a party for it, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Just in case you weren’t aware that our family is weird, I present here the definitive proof. These images were created one morning several years ago by brother Ben, who now has a blog.

You remember, of course, my previous discussion on this subject. It is now the case that I have had a fake girlfriend, but for a different reason. Let me explain.

A few weeks ago, I walked into church with a girl of my acquaintance and sat with her and other friends during the service. Quite innocent, no? A few days later I received a text message informing me of a rumour going around that Denese and I were going out. Doesn’t take much, does it?

I could easily have quashed the rumour by spreading The Truth. But what fun would that be? Denese and I, who both found the rumour hilarious, decided to take a different approach. Namely, to ensure that the rumour would spread.

Doing this was almost too easy. All I did was hold her hand during the service for a few seconds at a time when certain other people were watching. That, and occasionally putting my arm around her. After the service, we walked out arm in arm.

That was it. We didn’t kiss, or anything similar. But I could tell from the looks I was getting that people were convinced.

That was the beginning. It was to go further. Much further. The fake relationship took on a momentum of its own. I’ll post the details over the coming days, but in the meantime I’ll simply let this post be my confession that our relationship was fake and the girlfriend was not a girlfriend.

In the meantime, I’ll let you enjoy this pic:

Every local area has its oddballs, and thus Southland Shopping Centre here in Melbourne has the Southland Headphone Guy. Put simply, this is someone who is constantly at Southland, either listening to music on his bright pink headphones, or doing fly kicks. Everyone who works at Southland knows who he is.

All of which would probably not be worth blogging about; except that someone has started a Southland Headphone Guy group on Facebook. It has 1606 members and features photos and video footage.

From the group page:

He is up there with the strange wonders of Southland such as Mono-brow Man, Bee-hive-hair Lady, that strange asian guy that looks like he’s about to go fishing and carries a scooter with him, the middle aged bearded dwarf that always rides his bike around and the guy that looks 110 years old that dresses mighty snappy by always wearing a suit (but has a tie far too long on).

As you can see, some people have gone to the trouble of having their photos taken with him.

Is this stalking, or is it harmless fun?

Communism.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you see that word?

If your answer was “A fun-filled day for the whole family”, than Lithuania has the theme park for you! Called Grūtas Park, it was opened in 2001 by mushroom and berry magnate Viliumas Malinauskas.

It features statues, sculptures and paintings from the Soviet era, including 65 statues of Lenin, Stalin and Brezhnev and others, with other examples of Communist propaganda. You can view Soviet Youth posters and see the cattle trucks that once transported prisoners to Siberia.

There is also a zoo, for some reason.

The theme park is surrounded by barbed wire and guard posts in a replica of a Siberian slave labour camp. “It combines the charms of a Disneyland with the worst of the Soviet gulag”, Malinauskas reportedly said at the park’s official opening.

From Totalitaria:

A few hundred yards from his office window, for instance, stands a large, green, Soviet locomotive. Malinauskas’s original plan was to renovate a railway track which would have led all the way to Vilnius. There, visitors would have been herded by uniformed KGB men into replicas of the cattle trucks used to take Lithuanians to the Gulags. This ambitious scheme has had to be scaled down in the face of widespread outrage, though he still hopes that “they will be deported right into our information centre”.

Also in Lithuania, you can view the former KGB prison in Vilnius, the capital city.

Pete has alerted me to a bizarre product you can buy, provided that you live in the United States.

It is … a talking tombstone!

Quite simply, this is an ordinary tombstone with an inbuilt speaker, a tape player and infrared. Anyone who walks close to your grave and crosses the beam hears a recorded message.

I might also mention there is a video version available.

The intended use of this is probably something asinine along the lines of “Hi! I’m Peter Aldin. You might remember me from such blogs as Great Circle and Freaked-Out Fathers. Welcome to my grave …”

Of course, something like this demands other uses be thought of. I present to you “Five Worst Uses of a Talking Tombstone”:

1. “Hi, this is Peter Aldin. I’m not here right now, but you can leave a message after the beep, and I’ll get straight back to you …”
2. “John? John, is that you?”
3. “Hi and welcome to my grave. This gravesite is sponsored by Talking Tombstones, the only company that allows you to communicate from beyond the grave …”
4. “Hi, I’m Peter Aldin and I’m dead. One day you’ll be dead too. Repent of your sins before it’s too late!”
5. “Heeeeelp. Help me. Heeeeeelp … “

Can you think of any others?

Mike Gravel, U.S. presidential candidate and YouTube performer, is a big fan of 4′33″ by composer John Cage. The following is a live performance of that piece by the BBC Symphony Orchestra (RSS readers click here to view):

HOUSEKEEPING UPDATE: I’ve upgraded Wordpress to the latest version (excitement!), plus that weird bug from a few days ago is now gone, thanks to my mad haX0r skillz and the Tarski support forums. Everything should be working properly now, and as far as I can tell everything is, but if you find anything weird let me know. Cheers.

Additionally you can now comment on Five Word Coffee Shop Reviews, About and the other pages. That should have been possible before, now it actually is. I’m rather pleased about that.

IGNORE THIS UPDATE: Ignore this post. And for goodness sake, don’t go leaving comments there or anything.

(Pic from Barnard)

That’s right: this blog has a new theme. No need to adjust your monitor. What do you think?

Any bugs or other annoying weirdness? Leave a comment about it, or use the contact form.

WEIRD COMMENT BUG THINGY UPDATE: I found a fix for it - but when I installed it, the fix broke the site altogether. So for the time being, the bug stays. In my opinion its minor enough to work around, although I would much prefer that things just worked properly, dang it.

SON OF WEIRD COMMENT BUG THINGY UPDATE: Fixed. If you find anything else like that, let me know.